“If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.” — Jesus in Matthew 18:15
Oh church, did we hear that on Sunday? Jesus knows exactly what we need to hear. This idea applies to any of the groups that we are in: church, family, soccer teams, house mates, friend groups, any place where two or three are gathered. If we have something that needs to be worked out with another person, because of what that person did or said, the healthiest, fairest thing to do is to go directly to that person. (**Disclaimer: there are instances of abuse or imbalances of power when we may need to go to a trusted person for help.)
This can be a hard thing to do. It’s easier to go complain to someone else about it first. The healthiest thing to do for all involved is to go directly to the person and clearly and kindly have a conversation about what happened. Thank goodness Jesus promises to be there with us in those conversations, as he also says in v. 20, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”
On Monday, I joined thousands of other people for the annual Mackinac Bridge Walk. This is one of my favorite annual traditions, as it gives me a chance to be out in the middle of one of the most beautiful places on God’s good earth, to spend time walking and talking with some of my family, and to have time to contemplate life.
One of the things that is inevitable as thousands of people are crammed together in a limited space and as the Bridge starts to say a bit (yes, that happens since it’s a suspension bridge!) is that you bump into each other. And I do mean “bump” in a way that is beyond brushing someone’s shoulder as you scoot past in the aisle at Meijer. The bumping is accidental and always includes an apology exchanged between walkers. We just know that it’s going to happen and when it does, we acknowledge that it has happened and that no harm was intended.
This makes me think of Matthew 18:15. The Greek word that is translated “if” can also be translated “when,” though in this case all indications are that the “if” is the stronger translation. And far be it from me to tell Jesus how to speak, but I also think that Jesus could have said, “When your brother or sister sins against you…” and have been just as accurate about the human situtation.
It is inevitable that we are going to bump into each other in community, including Christian community, because we are imperfect. We sin. We fall short of the love for God and each other that Jesus asks of us. When we come together, like on the Bridge, things start happening, including the bumps — the things that cause trouble.
I am wondering this day, that if we remembered that more often, perhaps it would help us to go and point out the fault when we can be direct and kind one-on-one with the person who has bumped us. It’s helping me to think about this in a new way. It was good to once again wrestle with this text and have Jesus, who only wants the best for us, remind us how we get to the place of healthy community. I’ll leave you with the prayer that I used in my sermon on Matthew 18:15-20.
Lord, have mercy on us all!
Jesus, if you are asking us to do this, we need your help!
Give us courage when we need to speak.
Give us humility when someone speaks to us.
Give us kind words to use.
And when we have hurt each other, give us the grace to seek each other out.
Come, Holy Spirit, teach us to love one another.
Amen.
+Bishop Julie